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General Posts

Thanksgiving without loved ones…

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As our Thanksgiving tables overflow with turkey and stuffing we give thanks for our many blessings. We have to rise above the piercing arrow of loss and realize how small our lives would have been without our beloved children. On this day let’s be grateful and see the bright shining light of our children reflected back in our love of others. We must remember to open our hearts and pray not only for our children who are no longer with us, but for children everywhere. Knowing the more love we send out the more we connect with the grace of our kids who are always surrounding us. We are all connected. Much is asked of those who have walked the path of grief. We need to be strong torchbearers for those that cannot lift their own torches. And what of those children who are not our own in the war torn areas of the world? The children who have no pie or turkey, who are starving with nothing to eat, who are cold and cower…

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The Vine?

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What? The vine is closing down before I figured out what it was and how to use it! I got an “A” in the Palmer method of penmanship used a hundred years ago at St. Michael’s grammar school, any points for that talent? Thank God for the computer or I would still be writing and crossing out lines for Empty Jacket with my writing skills taught by Sister Ann Marie.  

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Monday Morning Again

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Opportunity awaits you, as it does each morning upon waking. Take a slow deep breath and feel your child riding in on the calmness of your spirit. When we stop constantly going over the what ifs of our lives we shift to the higher source of God and love. We know when we have much going on we are scattered and nervous. When we take those breaths in the morning or when needed during the day that is when we become centered. That is when our children can comfort us. It is the difference between riding the rapids over treacherous rocks or floating slowly down a shaded river on a summer day.

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Moving forward

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August 1, 2016 It has been sometime since I last posted. I would like to say that I have been sailing the world in my coconut bra but in reality I have been working on finishing my book, Empty Jacket, the story of losing a child and the over-whelming journey that faces us. The question is how do we go through tragedy and come out the other side a better person filled with strength and grace? Each child is unique and their passing affects us in so many different ways. Ways in which people in their wildest imaginations could never understand. The same holds true if you have a child with a long-term illness. The days and nights can be endless. Getting up night after night, the medicines and constant crying- and when everyone is tired of your story, and look at you with those glazed over eyes, where do you go? Whether you have experienced a death or a journey of daily trials, this will be a place to share your thoughts. about life…

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Life is Just a Stop on a Soul’s Journey

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Vicky Bates from Facebook Wednesday My heart is breaking tonight because my dear friend and mentor Sally Baldwin died in her sleep last night. I just spoke with her last week about our lives and the direction we were taking. We always laughed and made fun of any troubles we were going through. She connected me with my son Rocky which showed me the path I needed to take to help others on their journeys. She gave to everyone without hesitation and it’s ironic her heart gave out at 59. She was a blessed soul who worked with people who lost children and I feel so privileged to have shared my life with her doing mother’s retreats. It will take me a long time to process this tragedy but I know she was welcomed on the other side by many spirits who she connected with here helping us find the answers to our own losses. I will always love you Sally and will continue to live up to the faith you put in me. Sally…

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Stay Tuned…

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As we move forward with our journeys of love and loss I wanted to let you know that I will be revamping my blog, losingachildfindingyourself.tumblr.com. When I return I hope to offer more frequent content, additional features and increased opportunity for interaction with my readers. I hope we continue to help each other through open hearts and shared love. If anyone wants to contact me on days when things get out of sync I would be honored to offer help or my humble advice. Stay tuned… Vicky

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Everyday is Mother’s Day

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I remember my first Mother’s day. I had waited many years to become a mother. At the time we lived near Laguna Beach, California and decided to have brunch at one of the trendy boutique restaurants. Wearing a newly purchased sundress I strolled along the beach with my husband pushing our up-to-date stroller with my adorable “Gapped-out” baby in it. As we stood in line waiting for a table, Rocky began to whimper, slowly building to a cry that could have registered on the LA earthquake Richter scale. People started to turn around and twist in their sits. Why was he doing this to me? We finally gave up and left for home. As my son slept peacefully in his car seat, I stared out the window wondering why I couldn’t have the perfect mother’s day meal. Life always has its moments, well-made plans turning inside out, but we continue to push our wills against even the worst odds. When you lose a child control evaporates but even while experiencing the worst loss we try…

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