All Posts By

Vicky Bates

Thanksgiving without loved ones…

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As our Thanksgiving tables overflow with turkey and stuffing we give thanks for our many blessings. We have to rise above the piercing arrow of loss and realize how small our lives would have been without our beloved children. On this day let’s be grateful and see the bright shining light of our children reflected back in our love of others. We must remember to open our hearts and pray not only for our children who are no longer with us, but for children everywhere. Knowing the more love we send out the more we connect with the grace of our kids who are always surrounding us. We are all connected. Much is asked of those who have walked the path of grief. We need to be strong torchbearers for those that cannot lift their own torches. And what of those children who are not our own in the war torn areas of the world? The children who have no pie or turkey, who are starving with nothing to eat, who are cold and cower…

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The Vine?

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What? The vine is closing down before I figured out what it was and how to use it! I got an “A” in the Palmer method of penmanship used a hundred years ago at St. Michael’s grammar school, any points for that talent? Thank God for the computer or I would still be writing and crossing out lines for Empty Jacket with my writing skills taught by Sister Ann Marie.  

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Finding Joy Again

By | grace, how to survive tragedy, moving through grief | No Comments

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow.” And others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. — Khalil Gibran, The Prophet At first glance this is a confusing quote. But, now that I am on the other side of a deep, gut-wreching loss, I can say there is joy. This joy comes when you realize that you were given a lasting gift. That gift of a child shines brightly in you. It was dimmed by the broken you, but we are strong, stronger than we know. We rebuild, step by step, day by day. We rebuild by the brilliant grace-light of our hearts.  

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Monday Morning Again

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Opportunity awaits you, as it does each morning upon waking. Take a slow deep breath and feel your child riding in on the calmness of your spirit. When we stop constantly going over the what ifs of our lives we shift to the higher source of God and love. We know when we have much going on we are scattered and nervous. When we take those breaths in the morning or when needed during the day that is when we become centered. That is when our children can comfort us. It is the difference between riding the rapids over treacherous rocks or floating slowly down a shaded river on a summer day.

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Moving forward

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August 1, 2016 It has been sometime since I last posted. I would like to say that I have been sailing the world in my coconut bra but in reality I have been working on finishing my book, Empty Jacket, the story of losing a child and the over-whelming journey that faces us. The question is how do we go through tragedy and come out the other side a better person filled with strength and grace? Each child is unique and their passing affects us in so many different ways. Ways in which people in their wildest imaginations could never understand. The same holds true if you have a child with a long-term illness. The days and nights can be endless. Getting up night after night, the medicines and constant crying- and when everyone is tired of your story, and look at you with those glazed over eyes, where do you go? Whether you have experienced a death or a journey of daily trials, this will be a place to share your thoughts. about life…

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